The Day(s) I Thought I was Pregnant....

Well, it was a typical Thursday in the world of student affairs at JMU. I had just come home from having a 3 hour conversation about the Penn State scandal in class and then worked till 8:00. Luke and I had made dinner and I made the mistake of asking him what he thought about the whole thing. I will spare you details, but lets just say we disagreed. Which ended in me deciding I would not speak to Luke for 24 hours. It was honestly one of the worst fights we have ever gotten into...it is funny the things that spark fights with us, mostly having to do with food, but I guess this one was a little different.

Anyway, I finally break the silence Friday night when I call to see what he wants to do for dinner and he decided he wanted to watch the UNC game and eat buffalo wild wings. Fine by me, he said he would pick up the wings and I decided to call my friend Kate to see if she wanted to join us because her husband had been out of town. I call Luke to check on the order after heading to the gym and discover that he did not get ANY wings that I would like. He knows my favorite is honey BBQ and "just forgot" which left me even more mad. Then he goes and gets me some honey BBQ because he is great like that...but keep in mind I was still pissed. So, I walk in from the gym and Luke is PISSED. He is mad that I invited Kate over because he just thought we would talk the whole time (yes, that probably would have happened) and all he wanted was a guy's night. Next time he will have to be more specific...

So I decided to rampage out of the house grabbing my wings, knitting, wine, movies, and anything else I might need for a girls night. I called Kate and moved the party to her house. Well, after me venting to her for a good 30 mins about my "insensitive" husband and the stressful week I was having at school I finally ended it with..."and I think I am pregnant." At this point I was 4 days late and I am very rarely even a day late. How was I going to have a child with my husband who thought that Joe Paterno should not be fired?!

Anyway, after sipping on wine and eating wings (how classy!) Kate and I decided it would be a great idea to go to Wal-Mart and buy pregnancy tests. She even agreed to take one with me for moral support (we were both pregnancy tests virgins). At 10:30 on a Friday night in my JMU sweatshirt and sweatpants I hit up Wal-Mart like a true knocked up college student. I even forgot to wear my wedding ring that night because I took it off to shower after the gym. We grab the test, get in line and think we have successfully made it out without seeing anyone we know.

Then Kate saw one of her students in line. While our cashier was making a big commotion about getting someone to unlock the case that the test was in. Ugh, now her student's mom is probably thinking, "Why is my child's teacher hanging out with a knocked up college student?" Luckily, the family did not speak English too well so we were saved from the comments...

We get home and decided first things first. We need to read the directions and document this because it could potentially go in a baby book or a blog post.

I am not sure if you have ever read directions for a pregnant test or not, but it was somewhat complicated. You have to hold in a certain angle, pee for NO LONGER than 5 seconds on the thing. Make sure you lay it on a flat surface, etc.


Kate goes first because we knew she was not pregnant. She survived, gave me some helpful tips, and then I went on my way. After staring at the stick for 5 straight minutes (for those of you that don't know my I start to get cross-eyed in situations like this) I was finally convinced the 2nd line was not showing up and I started to breathe again...

Afterward, it was time to head home to my husband. I walked in announced that he was not the baby of my child and everything was fine. He was a bit confused because I had not even told him I was late...but he was glad to hear that I was not pregnant and could blame my bad attitude and need for HONEY BBQ wings on my period who should come soon...

however it did not. Saturday, Sunday, Monday, still no period. I took another pregnancy test on Sunday and it was still negative. I was reading all these websites and taking online quizzes and thought I was showing all the signs (once again I will spare you the details). Monday I start freaking out. It has now been a week. Here are the things going on in my head:

• Will JMU offer a scholarship for a mom going through grad school?
• How will I share this with my family over Thanksgiving?
• Clearly I am having twins because I am showing early.
• This is why I was so out of breath walking to work this week.
• This also explains my out of the ordinary craving for baby carrots lately, I go through 2 big bags a week.
• How will I fit in Lisa' bridesmaid's dress for her wedding in June? No one wants to be the fat bridesmaid.
  

The list could go on and on. On Monday night Luke was getting so nervous he could hardly talk. In his brain he was trying to think how we afford a child...keep in mind I had taken 2 tests but just thought they were wrong.

I decided if my period did not come Tuesday morning I would call a doctor. I woke up Tuesday morning, took another test (glad those things come in multiples!) It was negative, again. 2 hours later I am at work and it starts. And it was a b*tch this go around. It must have been punishing me for thinking it would never come...

so all is back to normal. I will still be wearing a cute bridesmaid dress, eating baby carrots just because I like them, "showing" because I need to lay off eating so much cheese, not having to plan a "reveal" to my family...I still would not mind more of a JMU scholarship, but I'll go with no baby right now instead.

Why did this happen? Maybe it is the fact that I feel like I am surrounded by babies these days? Or maybe I just needed some drama in my non-dramatic life? Or, maybe I am just paranoid. Either way, here's to enjoying life without kids with Luke for a couple more years. By the way, we made up :)